This article was first published at The Gnat.

HOLY BROTHER OF CHRIST!

From The Enchanted Word Processor Of Nicki Divine


(JERUSALEM) Oded Golan, owner of two purported archeological findings dating back to biblical times, is currently under investigation for fraud. Oded claims to have purchased the ossuary inscribed "James, son of Joseph, brother of Jesus" in the mid-1970s for $200.

If Golan’s claim were true, surely he’d have known something about the significance of such a box bearing said inscription when he paid $200 for it over 25 years ago. When questioned Golan responds with a shrug "I misplaced it."

After a recent thorough examination, officials are reporting that the box in question is likely not genuine. The inscription appears to be quite recent in contrast with the patina of age that covers the remainder of the object.

Further, an investigation of Golan’s residence revealed a startling number of other "genuine" archeological finds. Among those finds were a well-preserved loaf of bread and a fish that Golan claims Jesus took time to sign for a loyal follower after performing a certain miracle. "That’s his handwriting in ancient Aramaic," says Golan.

Golan also has a robe he won in a poker game that he claims was worn by Jesus.

Upon opening a large closet in Golan's residence, one investigator faced a landslide of ancient sandals, a staff, a mummified sheep, and three bejeweled containers of frankincense, gold, and myrrh, followed by a stack of tablets inscribed in ancient Hebrew. "All very reasonably priced," added Golan, smiling. "How about I make you very good deal?"

Despite the controversy surrounding the suspect James ossuary, some biblical archeologists continue to support Golan’s findings. "The jury is definitely still out on this one," said one confident supporter. When asked to comment, museum officials countered with a firm "No it’s not."

Home