DREAM II

Index

1.11.04

My son and I were taking a shortcut through a field and had just paused to take a rest under a grove of dense trees when a dark shadow fell over us, and we looked up into the face of a disgruntled neighbor.

This field, he tells us, was only planted the night before in rabbits, and he was pretty positive that all of the rabbits would be dead by now where we had stepped on them. To show us, he reached into the soft black dirt and pulled out a black rabbit, a little on the flat side, but only sleeping. "Well," he said, "this one's okay," but he said that the rabbit was useless now that he'd had to dig it up so soon... the planter was growing them for rabbit meat. I had no idea domestic rabbits were cultivated for that reason, and wondered if I should start planting rabbits myself. He was still peeved, said they didn't want to have to feed and care for this bunny now that they'd had to dig him up, and I might as well take him with me. I slipped the bunny into my backpack, and we left.

With freshly dug up bunnies comes great responsibility...

1.9.04

I went with my parents to visit a relative, but also for a relative of a friend who was having a graduation party. The house was totally awesome. In the back yard was the old house, now surrounded by water as it had flooded, and I looked at the beautiful old pink house, two stories tall and Antebellum in style. It was sad. There was a large clear fountain full of fish in the back yard, and my daughter could not resist jumping in and swimming with them. Then we went to the front, where steps led down to the beach area... and I thought that was really nice...

I was riding with my brother, and he was ramping houses and getting the car airborne, and I was trying to decide if I was dreaming or not so I'd know what would happen.

I remember going up stairs and stairs in the house, and looking out the window to see the old pink house finally break in half and sink into the river.

Later, I tried to convince my son to go riding with me... there is a nice lake area that only exists in my dreams... and I can remember the roads around it and everything... I wanted to go back there and see what it was like now. Then a deer came up to the window and let us pet her, and when other people came up, she ran away.

The other night I dreamed that I was in an airport on my way to go somewhere. Again, my son and I were in the car, and I let him drive. I asked him to slow down because the road was rough, and there were potholes everywhere, and we might fly off the road. Then the road ran out, and he stopped just in time. To the right was an old house with steps leading up to it. I told him that I was dreaming, to back up and go through the house, turn left onto the other street. I knew if we went over the edge, we'd fall, and I might wake up. He did, and I woke up.

9.29.03

Lots of weird stuff lately. Dreamed last night that a fridge was yelling at me. The other people present said that it was JUST a fridge and couldn't do anything to me... it was all bark and no bite. I didn't care. It was intimidating, and I didn't like inanimate objects yelling at me.

Thursday night I dreamed I was making cornbread and only had chocolate milk. :| Ick. There was more to the dream, even more interesting stuff, but the cornbread is what perplexed me.

A few days before that, I'd dreamed about bears attacking me. I threw my shirt at it. It worked. The bear went after the shirt, and I was running around screaming Bear! Bear! Bear!

I know there was more stuff, but I'm short on brain cells lately. :) 7.6.03

Another weird one.

The dog had a needle in her. It was about a inch and a half inside her. She was whimpering, and I picked her up, saw the needle, and pulled it out. It was like a sewing needle but it was not a very small one. Then, it happened again, but this time, instead of a needle, it looked like a blade. When I pulled it out, it was a metal piece that reminded me of the folded pieces of metal that bind papers together... that have the prongs that come up through the holes and the other piece that slips over, and then you lay it flat?

I kept staring at it, wondering what it meant, the metal all bloody, and I wondered if the dog was hurt inside... and how badly.

6.28.08

Last night's was TOTALLY bizarre. Warning. Really, it's disturbing!

(It may have been my friend's EXTREMELY strong apple martini. I only had the one, and it took me a couple of hours to feel normal. My alcohol tolerance seems to be decreasing relatively to my social life.) (Plus I'm pmsing, so that may have a lot to do with it.)

Anyway... my mother died.

Dad was driving, and we were going to the funeral. It was like she wasn't really dead, though. And she was young, like 18 or so like I would see her in the pictures. She was very very beautiful and wore a green dress that was 50's style. The top was fitted, sleeveless with a v-neck on the front and back, and it flared at the waste.

I was drinking on the way to the funeral, but probably again, because of my friend's martini. I felt really bad. It was just me and Dad at that point. We got to this house, huge, like at least two stories but very antebellum, and I remember seeing her "laid out". Well, my mother was the only person who had ever requested to be cut in half to be buried. I had a real issue with this. I couldn't understand why ANYONE would wish to be severed above the hips to be buried. It was like she was alive, though. I didn't get it. I looked over and saw the rest of her on the floor, the green dress, and she was moving, reaching for the puppies to hold them. (Another bizarre thing: mom doesn't like animals.) And then, there in the casket, she took on a grayish tone, but she still felt "alive". (Note: In the rest of the dream, she was whole.)

The next thing I really remember was my sister telling me about the store where you could buy all the books you wanted for a dollar. I went to check it out, and there was Johnny Cash. He looked a lot younger. He had the guitar across his lap, and of course, he wore black.

I went about looking for books, but didn't find any of the really interesting ones like my sister did. Their stock much have dwindled. I did find, however, a couple of very nice "luggage" pieces. One a carry-on size bag, and the other small enough to be a laptop computer portfolio. Oooh, and it was warm brown suede.

Then, I was back at the funeral. A strange boy had gotten into the car in my seat and was drinking the apple liquer. I was furious, and I got really mad at him, but I didn't know who he was.

Then, he turned into a guy that resembled John Cusack, and he was everywhere I went.

I wanted my mother's journal, and it was in an upright cabinet outside on the corner of the street. My mother wasn't the mother I know now. This was the young mother, the before-I-met-her mother, and she'd kept a journal. It was the only thing I wanted. (In real life, I have no clue if my mother ever kept a journal.) I went across the street in the dark, passed at the cross light and opened the cabinet. There were several old bound albums in there. The kind that you put the best family photos in. I grabbed one and took it back, but it wasn't the journal. The journal seemed to have something specific in it that I wanted, but I don't remember what. Only that I knew what I was looking for. My mother was at the piano playing. She was 18, and I said I didn't know she knew how to play. She always talked about taking lessons, but there she was, playing like Liberace. She gave me some flippant excuse which didn't really answer anything, so I just assumed it was another one of those things she kept hidden.

So I had the wrong book and went back out to the cabinet. Mom was behind me a few feet, warning me about going. There were all sorts of scary people on the street, and one of them saw me and started at me. I didn't make it to the cabinet. I turned and ran, floated, fast back up the drive. The house was so big that there was an alley going through it. I cut down the alley, and that threw him for a second. I kept running, floating. My thought was to scare them off, and I came out of the other side of the alley and was on around the back of the house, heading to the back stairs that led to the upstairs inside, and there he was. I was floating at least a foot off of the ground, and I screamed loudly, a loud, wild warning scream, and he stopped. I thought, if he thinks I'm not real, he won't mess with me. So I floated up the to door, I pushed it open with my mind, and went in.

Oh, there's more... the guy who looked like John Cusack was hanging around a good bit, and he tended to show up half-naked. I don't know why. We were sitting on the top of the "ladder", kind of like a lifeguard, but bigger... held more people, and he would make it walk down the street by tilting it back and then forward, but then it would take off on its own. Bizarre, but it was a comfort having him around, even if he was a little flakey.

That's most of what I remember.

6.26.03

Well, last night things had an "epic" feeling to them. It's like I was in a movie... I knew what was supposed to happen. The script had already been written but reading the script and living it were two different things altogether. In the script, we escaped, we killed the evil queen, and we triumphed. Well, things turned out differently. We didn't manage to kill her, and somehow the wrong people found the vase that we were hiding. I don't know who "we" was. It was me... but I was not entirely myself. So confusing. I had to hide the vase because it was so important that NOBODY BUT NOBODY could know about it. But the wrong guys found it, and things got really bad after that. The whole town was on HIS side, and you couldn't trust anyone. They took the easy way out and went to his side because it looked like the sure way, and even though I'd read the script and knew how it was supposed to turn out... even I wasn't so sure anymore...

I just remember thinking the queen was supposed to be dead and yet something had gone wrong... not quite the way it was supposed to go... and things were looking pretty bad...

6.17.03

Last night I dreamed we were on the "family" vacation. I went skinny dippin' with the family. Now that's something that probably won't happen. I was like... "Let me back in the car dad... I'm naked!" There were turtles in the water. And there was a man who wasn't really a man at all, but a spirit, and he moved so fast that he left bits of his hair hanging from the trees like moss. And there was another man, standing in the road talking to no one. He didn't move out of the road for the cars. We went right through. And my dog was shot with arrows, and I cried, but she was okay... just walking around with arrows stuck in her.

6.15.03

Last night I dreamed mom's house was 3 stories tall. It was really cool. I was looking out the window of the bottom floor, and I saw the tree monster pushing down other trees in the yard. Then somehow he got into the house. I remember mom running up the stairs to see if he was up there. I don't remember much more. Mostly just the hands of the tree monster, like five-pointed roots splayed wide like fingers.

6.14.03

Ok... reality check. I'm going to see my brother tomorrow. He only comes home every couple of years, and he didn't come to any of our weddings. So, he's coming home for a week, has all these plans, and we have the privilege of dining with them tomorrow. That's all. I'm trying not to think about it. In fact, I've been more concerned about my new job, my relationships that make me happy, my friends, whether or not to actually go see the Chippendale's (I didn't) and what new books to buy. I have not wasted ANY time worrying about the guy who is supposed to be my brother. For all his brilliance and his three degrees, he's just not all that anymore to me and he knows nothing of diplomacy. Those I really care about have eclipsed him.

So. last night, he still manages to sneak into my dreams. It's like s stupid insecurity virus or something. He was getting married, and we were all going to his wedding (big deal), and my sister and I were trying to decide what to wear. I was just goofing off, so I picked up this bridal headpiece. It was a velvet hat with a long narrow velvet "train" falling down the back. I noticed the hat felt heavy and hurt on the side of my jaw. I became aware that there was a vise stuck in the hat, and I began to unscrew the clamps. Then it was coming out of my jaw. I couldn't figure out how it had gotten in there, but I was looking at these quarter-inch gaping holes in my lower jaw where the vise had been. I nearly fainted. I was saying it hurt, it hurt... and then my sister nearly cough the train of the hat on fire. I put it out, and things got chaotic after that.

6.11.03

Last night's was kind of funny. We were in the van (like the one we took on vacation), and it was me, my brother, my sister, and some other members of the family but it was vague. I was helping my brother cook some brownies, but I felt a bit confused and accidentally mixed the cream cheese topping with the mix. I was hoping it was going to turn out okay. Then, there was this really irritating dog that kept getting into the van. I can't remember what it was doing to irritate me so much, but it wasn't just an ordinary dog. It had a beak, and thorny things on its beak, kind of like ridge scales. Then it had feathers coming off of its back side. For some reason, I'm thinking they were blue. The dog was so irritating that I got them to slow the van down really slow, and I put the dog out. It was around a place where there were lots of people, so I knew it would be okay. (And it wasn't my dog... I don't know where it came from... I felt like I was putting it back where it came from...) So don't think I'm a pet abuser! Anyway, the next thing I know is that I became aware that there was a noise in the background... it sounded like a siren. We looked behind us and saw this strange ... um... I don't know if I can describe it... reminded me of a fair ride... tall cylinder coming up out of ground... a bit conical in shape... a round "wheel" like thing sitting on top of it perpendicularly. The wheel had other things attached... like propellers maybe... but it's all fuzzy now. Anyway, that thing was making the noise. Then, we looked in front of us.

Red airplanes were crash landing all over the interstate. The first one landed right in front of us and skidded out of the way. The siren had been to warn us about the airplanes landing... to give us a chance to clear the road. We were weaving around these airplanes... most without landing gear... sliding on the road, breaking wings. There were piles everywhere, and I was thinking we weren't going to make it. But we did. I guess that's when I woke up.

6.7.03

Okay, let me try to summarize it all, though details will be absent.

A couple of nights ago... I dreamed there was a large white tiger on my bed. It belonged to mom, and I scratched it like I'd scratch a cat or dog, and he playfully gnawed at my hand (hurting a bit, of course). I remember shopping, going somewhere with my friends, and ending up in line for exotic photos. I was topless. My friend was wearing a suit. Then they said that the first few people to do something would be in a contest for $8000, and I was one of the first ones there. I was drawing a picture. My friend had disappeared, and I couldn't find him. My brother was flirting with the lead singer of Evanescence.

The next night... I woke up at 4 am after having a nightmare. I was taking black and white photos of animals... like I saw this black and white crocodile and some snakes in an exhibit. It was like looking through the camera... very grainy and black and white. But then I was up in the middle of them and couldn't get away. The snakes were coming at me and I couldn't get away. I woke up hot and finally got back to sleep. Then... my grandparents were there. It was very confusing. They're dead in actuality. All of them, but the ones on my mother's side were there. I dreamed mom had grown up in a house that was formerly an old jail. It's like I could see it in as a jail and as a house. All of the relatives were there because of some emergency. I was riding along on a train, again looking through the camera, but this time, things were all different colors... like I'd be looking at some buildings, and parts would be blue or pink, and just all sorts of weird colors. Then there'd be cartoons and wild colors, and I was still taking pictures. Then my grandparents were dead, and my sister was going to the funeral, and she didn't tell me about it. I was furious. I was screaming I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! which is not like me at all.

Last night, I was in school. I was levitating and falling and rising and jumping, and I felt special. Which was good, because I wasn't ready for the history test, nor did I remember any of the classes. I remember I had a huge stack of money in my locker. I do remember floating down the hall, though, and looking for books.

6.2.03

We were all part of a school and on some kind of field trip. There was mud and muddy water everywhere. On the right were two cars, one almost completely unwater, and the other one, crashed into it. The sunken car was wrecked, also, and I wondered if anyone was in the car or had they escaped.

Then the vehicle we were in bus or train) left the road and turned onto the muddy ground. I groaned because this was a bad sign... and we spent hours climbing through these large tunnels... up and down ladders... and trying to get back to the school. Then one of the professors clotheslined a kid who must have done something really bad.

5.31.03

Last night I dreamed I had three other siblings that I'd never met until they came down to visit with my brother. In the dream, I could say their names, but I couldn't say my real sister's name. It completely escaped me. Now that I'm awake, I don't remember their names. I was going to take a picture of them, but my sister refused to snap the picture. She just kept standing there. I was like, TAKE THE PICTURE! I wanted something to remember them by. But she just froze. Then, I asked the other sisters if they remembered anything about their childhood... being raised by mom... what was she like? They were very vague and foreign. Like... how could these people be the offspring of mom? They're sooo... sophistocated and sure of themselves. It was like they were mom's first litter, and we were the second, and somehow, we got the tired, bitter mom.

5.27.03

Night before last, it was "when good vacations go bad." I guess I was anxious because we go on vacation next week, and I was thinking of what all could go wrong. But, heck... it's vacation.

Then, last night, I was at Walmart, getting ready to catch a flight. I don't know where I was going. But it was an 11:55pm flight to Cincinnati, where I'd connect going I-don't-know-where. I had sat there for hours before I realized that I didn't have my flight pass with me. I left it... where did I leave it? I thought really hard. Maybe it was in my bag in the car. I got up and headed to look. I had two hours left, and if it wasn't there, I had just enough time to go back and get it. But I decided I needed to pay for the items I'd picked up before I went out. I had a cake for my brother for his birthday, which I'd miss because it was during the week that I'd be gone, and I had some lotion and lipgloss. I was complaining because they were selling hotel-sized bars of soap for like $10 each. I refused to buy them, but the lady promised that this lotion was wonderful and would not break me out. So... I got outside, and my brother was there... he had a poster he'd made for me. I tried to put that in the trunk of my beetle without wrinkling it. My brother spent a long time telling me about his new girlfriend and picking out flowers and writing a letter to her. And I dug around in the bag for the flight pass. Hmmm... it wasn't there. Then it MUST be in the bag at home (I'd forgotten to pack!), so I had ONE hour to get there and back! It was 8:55 (and don't ask me how that only gave me an hour)... my brother kept saying it was "Mark 55..." but I was thinking... "You're calling '8' a 'mark'?" Made no sense. In the end, I don't think I ever got on the plane, but I woke up before 11:55 actually came.

5.20.03

Strange dream again last night. I wish I could remember it all, but it comes in snapshots. The part that sticks out is that I was on the side of the wizard against the church... I was raging that the church made excuses for why things didn't work out the way they were promised, and I was furious because people were blamed for failing when they believed the lies of the church, and if God really existed, this wouldn't happen. I remember I was angry and yelling. The wizard had put a child in me, and I knew he would take it when it was born, but then I remember opening up a drawer and seeing the black and red "bibles" of the fake church, and I was furious, so I spit on them, knowing that the wizard's strength was within me now. A song kept going through my head. I could only hear it in the room in which I slept, and then I realized that it was his song. I reached down and petted a brown fuzzy dog and the others took me to the kitchen to give me a milky tea with cinnamon to soothe my stress. I know it sounds very cultish, but the wizard was Gandalf, and I was like his mistress, but really mainly just for the child. I don't think it mattered that I had other lovers, as long as the child was his.

5.15.03

bad dream this morning.

Well, I don't remember exactly how it started, but I was on the phone with a guy friend who happened to have called me at home. We were just talking about normal stuff... work, hobbies, etc. Well, Orc was leaving to go somewhere and he turned on this radio as he left. The next thing I knew, our phone call was interrupted, and someone else on the line was making threats at my friend. I realized that it was because of the radio thing, and went to unplug it. I broke it into several pieces.

The next thing was that the house was full of kids. I couldn't get anyone to mind. They all had weird names, and I didn't even know who they were.

Then we were outside. It was dark. I saw a truck passing with a strange paint-job on it. Brown and red over white. I saw many trucks with this same paint-job, and someone was telling me that it meant something. A guy overheard and was after me, so I was trying to get away. I was with another person (my sister I think) and we were crawling away low in the grass. I passed a lion, but I wasn't afraid. He sat there quietly like a guardian, and I felt like he'd protect us from the other people. I was trying to catch up with my sister when I noticed an airplane overhead. The plane changed into a fairy, and other fairies soon surrounded this one... and they shot me with an arrow.

Soon we were with the rest of the crowd and everyone was happy and celebrating. There was a big party and fireworks were going off everywhere. The fairies were being wild and mischievous.

5.9.03

I can't remember how it started, but I was in a room of crowded people, and someone looked at my swelling thigh and made a loud exclamation. I was rushed to this room with two people and hospital equipment. I didn't have a shirt on, just had this robe or blanket clutched to my chest. The man who exclaimed about my swelling leg (it didn't look that bad to me) said, "Wait, no, that's not a [insert something here since i don't remember what he said]. I see a swimmerett. That's a shrimp." With tweasers, he removed the strange shrimp. It was small, delicate, and almost clear. They began doing a series of tests on me, trying to decide why I had a shrimp in me. It all narrowed down to a special dye in a certain pattern that would indicate the presence of magic, much like a pregnancy test would determine if you were pregnant. He painted the dye on my legs, fully expecting to prove that I was NOT magic. I was very scared, because I knew what chaos would erupt when they found out the truth. (Still doesn't explain the shrimp, though, does it?)

So, as I waited for the inevitable, a boy walked through, and they made him leave again. The dye pattern came up as I suspected, and all heck broke loose. He wanted to send me to a hospital in Atlanta. "Why? Because I'm magic??" I didn't know what to do. I knew that if I went there, they'd either try to "cure" me of my magic, changing my life forever, or they'd put me under a series of tests that would make me a guinea pig for the rest of my life. Either way, it wasn't good.

I couldn't leave, and the only way out was through Atlanta. When I arrived there, expecting to arrive privately just like anyone else, the hospital was full of reporters. People were chasing me everywhere. I was being threatened. Everyone suspected, but truth is, no one really believed. So, when the lady who pretended to be my friend stood there with all of her reporter friends, I got tired of it, and floated down the stairs, flew into the chapel and put everyone in a panic.

I got away, but they were still after me. When I got home, someone had convinced my mom that they were there to perform a service, and she thought she was doing a favor for me, when, in reality, they were more spies. I alerted her and she ran them off. I walked through the room, and the plants followed me. I lay on my bed and picked up the small bundle of grass and held it loosely. Even Mom didn't really know the truth.

Then I remember was being on a bus, trying to memorize the lines I had to recite, and watching a few students receive their headbands and secret messages, upon receipt which they were supposed to say the secret word of acceptance of said honor, "Sha-bu," or something like that, holding up their hand in a promise gesture. I watched them, remembered the funny quiet excitement when I had received my own headband, and smiled. Then I turned my attention to my notebook. I realized I didn't know my lines.

I wound up in a perfume store smelling fragrances and buying clothes to wear on my date later that night. It was a pink and lacy sheer top. I had pink shoes, too. Really way too much pink.

5.3.03

I had this wonky dream last night that the family went with my sister to this woman's house, but we couldn't figure out how to get into the house. We got into the hall, but couldn't find the door to her friend's house. It was huge and rambling... door to door to door... You'd open a door and be on a corner porch, walk through the next door at the end and be in a bedroom, then a hall, and you never knew what was next. We finally opened a large, plain brown door and found a long, skinny bridge leading to a deck. My sister had said she remembered the deck. It was pretty because it was multicolored, but I was looking for pastels, and this was like regular wood that had been subtly dyed. OH well, I guessed this was the one, but that bridge looked really scary. I found the kitchen, and the lady, who was a friend of my sister's, said I had to go out the kitchen window to get there. So I climbed up on the sink, (she moved the bowl of carrots she was slicing to the side out of my way) threw open the window, climbed out, still clinging to the smooth porcelain sink. She said I had to be careful because I wasn't going to be at the right angle and I might fall off. The bridge dropped down like a hammock, and I held on as I tried to get my feet into place, and then I twisted. It was like a lounge chair. It felt nice. Now I just had to crawl up the other side on hands and knees. But I never made it. I think I fell asleep in that position, swinging on the little bridge on my back.

5.1.03

Once again... fear of floods. We were in a car driving and the roads were flooded. I was afraid because, from my perspective, it looked as if the road ran under an ocean. But I had to go across. I began to drive across, straining to see the edges of the road, keeping to the left, and suddenly I was on the other side. I remember being in the house and looking out a window at the ocean coming up in the backyard.

I turned to my mom and pointed out that my sister's raft was going to float away and be lost forever in the ocean. It was a peach octagonal raft. Mom said that there were barriers to keep things from going out that far. From one view the water seemed to be almost up to the window, and I looked down at the bottom of the door to see if there was any water trying to get throw, but I looked again and saw that the pier, which was lower than the window, still had a few inches left before the water reached it.

4.21.03

Our own troops were blowing up gas stations... some sort of strategy against the enemy, but it was all taking place here. I remember seeing them pushing in these things... machines that looked like cannons that shot flames. I was running... fast as I could, to get away... but I felt I was the only one who knew that everything was about to explode. You could hear the explosions going off everywhere, and I looked out the window and the sky was an orange flame. It was a weird dream... combination of modern and history... I was a slave named Mary Alice and did not look like myself at all. I took the missus a long white cape covered in white peacock feathers... I was getting dressed, too, and we were all getting ready to evacuate... I had on a long white dress, and someone handed me one of those ridiculous hoops to go under it. It was easter egg blue and covered in stiff scratchy net ruffles.

4.19.03

Totally bizarre dream. The details have all faded, but the disturbing part was when I bit off a boy's toe. I don't know why. I didn't like him, but no one deserves to have their toe bitten off. I had removed two of his toes, and he wasn't quite so angry as surprised. I remembered the toe in my mouth after I'd bitten it off, feeling a bit guilty and thinking, ya know... I really didn't even want this... just not that hungry.

But you know how, when presented with all those toes, you just feel like you have to try one.

4.15.03

I dreamed I had a pet owl. He was a new baby and dark grey. I fed him grapes. Kept him in the microwave.

The rest of the dream was about trying to find a place to get dressed, the toilets overflowing (this happens a lot in my dreams), and being late.

4.13.03

Nothing phenomenal to report. Dreamed I was in my aunt and uncle's van, trying to scan my images onto CDs. My cousin (not daughter of this aunt and uncle) was found guilty for shoplifting in a place that was full of mirrors (like a funhouse) so they could tell every move she made. We were looking for fast food in a very small town, and the lawyer from work was there in part of it. I remember someone talking about needing to go across the street to the tea room, and there was a drive-thru at the bank just for millionaires. It was just a series of snapshots that made no sense whatsoever.